I have been overweight for almost my whole life. Some of my more popular excuses are: “I’m tall for my age,” “I’m big boned,” or “I’m still hungry.” Since I have been overweight most of my life, I do not really know how I became the way I am. Obviously, from bad eating and exercise habits but I do not know what the particular habit was that tipped the scale for me. Especially when most of my life ran on a strong dose of denial.
My memories include being told not to walk like an elephant. That only 12-year-olds and under were allowed on the moon bounce when I was nine. I remember a teacher in 4th grade coming up to me to acknowledge me for losing weight. I remember my brother calling me a dinosaur. I remember getting yelled at for eating too much and then eating the rest of the pot of pasta as a sign of protest. I remember going on diets from the age of seven to 21. I remember clothes not fitting, buttons and/or zippers breaking. I remember hiding my rolls of fat in my jeans when I sat down. I remember not wanting to do jumping jacks because it hurt and I jiggled. I remember being told I couldn’t play hide and seek because I was too big to hide behind anything. I remember the crying, the struggle, and the pain AND THAT IS GOOD!
Acknowledging this pain and coming to the terms that, I am overweight, is what is going to drive me towards a healthy me. Subhanallah, just simply doing that has made me feel so much better! It’s like it’s not a secret anymore. Yes, in fact, I do know that “I’m fat” and I’m working on it. When my kindergarten students called me “fluffy” instead of crying, I was able to laugh. Yeah, I got flab but I’m still flab-ulous 😉
It has been a long journey to get here but, Alhumduallah, I made it. Therefore, as I face all the new kinds of struggles to get healthy, I’ll keep you posted on my progress. I have 116 pounds to lose so buckle up for the ride!